Louder
I had never really listened to Shane & Shane, but they were in Atlanta for the National Youth Workers Convention and they played the song in this video. I hadn't actually thought about it for awhile, but then it came on my Pandora this afternoon in my office and I remembered how much I loved it when I first heard it. Here's the video with lyrics:
The part that sticks out to me every time is "Here I am, can you talk a little louder? So I can hear you. I wanna hear you. I don't wanna move without you."
But as I think about it, I don't think that it's that God needs to be louder. It's that I need to be quieter. I fill my time up with stuff. I constantly have music or the TV on at home unless I am sleeping. And sometimes God talks to me through those things, and other times I have them on but just as background noise because I sometimes find the silence more distracting.
But I think I need to be more comfortable with silence in my own life. I am comfortable with silence if you're talking about in a group of people waiting for someone to answer a question I ask. But if you are talking about just sitting in silence... I'm not very good at that.
I have been reading Eat, Pray, Love off and on for a while now, and last time I was reading it I was at the part where she was trying to meditate, but she had so much trouble being still. That's me. When I watch tv, I check email and other computer stuff at the same time. When I talk on the phone, I pace or clean. When I brush my teeth, I pace or I get stuff ready for whatever I am doing next. It's not just that I'm not good at doing nothing - I am a multitasker, so sometimes it is a challenge to even focus on one thing.
I don't know that I will ever be good at doing nothing - in part because I don't know that I will ever TRY to be really good at it. But I do know that I need to work on taking time to listen when it comes to my conversations with God. And that while I would like to think God needs to talk louder for me to understand, it's really that I need to slow down and listen. Maybe I'll try that now... Goodnight!
The part that sticks out to me every time is "Here I am, can you talk a little louder? So I can hear you. I wanna hear you. I don't wanna move without you."
But as I think about it, I don't think that it's that God needs to be louder. It's that I need to be quieter. I fill my time up with stuff. I constantly have music or the TV on at home unless I am sleeping. And sometimes God talks to me through those things, and other times I have them on but just as background noise because I sometimes find the silence more distracting.
But I think I need to be more comfortable with silence in my own life. I am comfortable with silence if you're talking about in a group of people waiting for someone to answer a question I ask. But if you are talking about just sitting in silence... I'm not very good at that.
I have been reading Eat, Pray, Love off and on for a while now, and last time I was reading it I was at the part where she was trying to meditate, but she had so much trouble being still. That's me. When I watch tv, I check email and other computer stuff at the same time. When I talk on the phone, I pace or clean. When I brush my teeth, I pace or I get stuff ready for whatever I am doing next. It's not just that I'm not good at doing nothing - I am a multitasker, so sometimes it is a challenge to even focus on one thing.
I don't know that I will ever be good at doing nothing - in part because I don't know that I will ever TRY to be really good at it. But I do know that I need to work on taking time to listen when it comes to my conversations with God. And that while I would like to think God needs to talk louder for me to understand, it's really that I need to slow down and listen. Maybe I'll try that now... Goodnight!
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