What really matters...

I keep seeing these posts about people picking their word for 2015. Something they want to move toward, what they want their theme to be. It seems to me to be the new form of resolutions. And as I see these posts, and consider what I would choose as my word, I honestly have no idea. Because I have no idea what 2015 will hold. But I can absolutely look back and choose a word that defines 2014 for me: Trust. A year ago, I thought things were moving along pretty well in my life. I thought I had finally found some balance and felt pretty settled. Oh, things weren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I was happy with where I was. And then in January, everything changed. The details of how and why the change happened don't really matter, but it was a change I hadn't planned on. In January, it was decided that I would leave my job at the time at the end of May. And the reality is, as a youth leader, my career is much different than just a job. I have a job that infil

If there is one thing that I had drilled into my head as a psychology major, it was the information that I am putting in this blog post. To the point where I was tired of hearing it. But as I read my Facebook news feed these days, I understand why my professors felt the need to drill this into my head because it truly is important when we look at the difference between research and anecdotes. So here I am attempting to share this important lesson with you. **NOTE** The"research" in this post is entirely made up and purposefully absurd. It is my hope that you will be able to translate the points of this post to current events, but I did not choose to use those as my example in an attempt to avoid preconceived notions about who I might be speaking to in this post (especially since this applies across numerous sides of many arguments). 1. Research deals in generalities and cannot be applied to specific people or situations. For example, say there was a research study th

I have recently been reading a book by Brené Brown called The Gift of Imperfection. It has been an insightful read and one that I have been challenged by. The basic premise of the book is what is required in order to live a "wholehearted" life. Brown is a researcher who has spent a lot of time researching shame.  And one of the things that she found and was surprised by is that the people who are most successful  at living in a wholehearted way are those who have the courage to be vulnerable and to accept their imperfections. There is so much more to this book. Every chapter I find things that challenge me to think about the way that I live my life, and I highly recommend reading it if you are open to being challenged to grow. But what I want to talk about here is how reading this is has infiltrated my life in a way that I did not expect. I started reading this book for personal growth. But I found myself talking about it today in staff meeting at church. And then I

We all have things we want to do in our lives someday.  The truth is there are probably a lot of things that don't get done because life gets in the way. One of my examples is learning Spanish. I first decided that I wanted to learn Spanish when I was in the Dominican Republic in 2003. I actually registered to take a Spanish class at Elon, but it was going to double the cost of my books, and it wasn't required for my major, so I decided to drop the class. I did take a basic Spanish class through the Delaware Career Center when I was teaching preschool in 2005, but while I have learned some basic words and phrases, I am not really much closer to being able to have a conversation. I have also traveled to Honduras and Costa Rica on mission trips, and wished I could fully communicate with the people I met, especially the children. So 11 years later, the desire is still there, but I am not much closer to the goal. Fast forward to the present: This has been a crazy year. I started

Have you ever tried to put words to something that simply wasn't describable? At youth group several years ago, we were having sloppy joes for dinner, and one of the youth had never had a sloppy joe before so he asked what it tasted like. And the rest of struggled to come up with the words to describe what exactly a sloppy joe tastes like. Because the truth is that the only way you know what a sloppy joe tastes like is if you taste it. And that is a limit of language: it can't fully convey an experience or a thought. When I lead team building, I talk about the importance communication when working with others, and I like to say there are 3 parts to communication. Part 1. Sending a message or information.  This can be through talking, physical contact, facial expressions, body language, writing/typing, gestures, smoke signals - any way we can think of to send a message. This is where communication starts. But if this is all that happens - there is no communication. Just

I am a people pleaser. I often don't state my opinions on issues because I want people to like me. I'm working on that. Today's post is: "God has a plan for your life." Honestly I struggle with this one, and I think you will hear some of that in this post. I want to preface this post by saying these are my thoughts, and you don't have to agree with me. I don't know if I always even agree with myself. I am just trying to get better at taking risks and putting my thoughts out there. All I ask is if you want to comment, please be respectful. So here goes... Does God have a plan? And if God already knows what will happen, do we really have free will? These are big questions that people of faith have to wrestle with. The reality is there is no easy answer and will always be disagreement on these issues. And truth be told, people have good basis for believing different things on this issue. I do believe God has a plan. Actually I believe God has lots

Today I find myself in a place of new beginnings.  I spent the weekend moving into a new apartment, and today was my first day in a new job.  Beginnings are interesting because they are both exciting and scary.  I don't know what to expect.  There is a lot of trust in beginning.  And it takes a lot of effort to begin well. As I embark on these new beginnings, I find myself considering the endings that had to take place in order for beginnings to come.  What did I do well in those spaces?  What do I want to do differently? There is also a freshness to beginnings.  It is like a blank canvas that you get to cover.  How will I choose to be in this new place in life?   All in all, I am excited about these beginnings.  I don't know what to expect, but that's half the fun.  It's an adventure.  And it's one that God and I are on together, so with faith in the one who loves me more than I can fathom, I take that first step trusting that no matter what, Jesus is w

When people think of Costa Rica, they often think of tourism.  And in fact, tourism is the number 1 source of income for the country.  As a result, many people may be surprised at the amount of poverty that exists within Costa Rica.  As I have read the reflections from everyone that went on our trip, the day we went to La Carpio was mentioned in almost everyone's reflection.  The impact of witnessing the extreme poverty weighed heavy on everyone's hearts. One thing we were told on our way to La Carpio has stuck with me.  We actually had to pass La Carpio on our way to get there because there is only one road into the area.  A road that ends at the dump.  Because when tourism is such a huge industry, you don't want people to see the poverty.  In fact, we were told that sometimes the government will give people enough money to help them move (though not the support they really need for a different life), then tear down the shacks they have built in order to keep up the i

This evening I have been working on the video for the Costa Rica mission trip, and as such have been thinking about the children we met at La Carpio. There was one moment on this trip that really broke my heart.  We were at La Carpio and I was serving juice.  Each kid received one glass of juice, and after we finished pouring the last glass, a little boy came up and asked for more.  I asked the woman if I could give him more, and she said no because there was not enough for everyone to have more.  All he wanted was more juice.  Something we all take for granted.  Another kid wanted more food.  And the same answer.  There was only enough for one bowl per kid.  This was probably the only meal these kids would have all day.  70-80 children who get one bowl of food a day. The Wednesday after we got back from Costa Rica, I was at Be 5:6 (SUMC's 5th and 6th grade ministry). There was plenty of food and drink for everyone to have as much as they wanted.  And I found myself thinking b

People have been asking about reflections from Costa Rica, and I keep promising they are coming.  But life keeps getting in the way.  So this week I am planning to make time to sit down and write some of my reflections.  Here is a moment that was brought to my mind this morning: On Thursday March 27, we went to the feeding program that Strong Missions helps support in La Carpio. There is a lot of need in La Carpio.  I asked one of our Strong Missions guides, Brooke, to send me the information that we were told about La Carpio.  Here it is in her words: La Carpio is 9 sq miles and has approx. 44,000 people living there of which approx. 30,000 are under 18. Over 1/2 the population are immigrants, mostly from Nicaragua. There is only 1 elementary school in the area so a lot of children are sent out to other areas and have to take public transport. School lunch is technically provided free, but in the underfunded, overpopulated area, they would say that it doesn't constitute any

I don't have anything specific to share tonight, but I got to experience true worship with this band tonight (Gungor), and I think they're amazing.  So I thought I would share with you my favorite of their songs... Enjoy!

Have you ever been on a tilt-a-whirl or scrambler, or any of those other spinning rides at fairs and amusement parks?  Those rides where you spin in different directions at the same time and you kind of forget which is way is up and when you get off you almost fall over because you're so off balance?  They used to be my favorite when I was younger, probably because I didn't really like heights.  But that was back before I got motion sickness on a simple swing.  I can't do those rides anymore.  But I was thinking about them today. See the theme of my day seemed to be embrace the squiggle.  I am attending the Simply Youth Ministry Conference this weekend, and in the session I am attending, which is focused on junior high ministry, we talked about how we want youth's path to Christ to be that straight line toward Jesus. We think that's the ideal.  But we know that's not a reality - so instead we think of it more as a path with peaks and valleys - kind of like a h

I heard this song yesterday when I was out driving and it stuck with me, especially this section: Everybody's scared to death When they decide to take that step Out on the water But it'll be alright The part that really stuck out to me was the first line: "Everybody's scared to death."  Often it seems when we're afraid we think we're the only one.  We look at other people and they seem so brave to us for the things they are willing to try.  And so we don't want to admit to our fear because for some reason our society has labeled fear as a weakness. I remember when I was in middle school the "No Fear" shirts that everyone had to have - including me.  I had one that said "Second place is the first loser."  Our society values not being afraid, so when we feel scared we keep it bottled inside.  But the reality is that with our fear bottled inside - it often has more power.  And everyone is afraid. I once read somethin

This year for Lent I have been considering whether I wanted to give something up or add something, or even do nothing at all.  Nothing at all seemed not to be my best option since I'm clearly not perfect yet - God is still working on me so I should use this opportunity to let him. So I decided the area I need the most work is my prayer life.  There's a lot of unknown in my life right now, and prayer is the best way to remind myself to rely on God.  I will be doing a lot of this on my own time and not blogging or facebooking it, but one of the ways I connect with God is when others speak the words of my heart, and all I can do is say "yes. that."  And those moments I will share, in the awareness that my moments may speak to someone else. I heard this song last night on the radio, and it seemed appropriate for today.   Even though I don't know what your plan is I know you make beauty from these ashes. Today we are reminded that we came from ash

It was a dark and foggy night.  It sounds like the beginning of a creepy story, but the truth is I am not a good storyteller.  What I am good at is making random connections between things I experience to learn life lessons.  And it was a dark and foggy night.  I was driving, and every time I drive through fog at night, I wish I could see more clearly, and want to turn my brights on.  Then I remember learning in drivers' ed that, in fog, your brights actually make it harder to see because they create glare.  Yet, I almost always try it like maybe this time it will be different.  And my drivers' ed instructor is proven correct every time.   As I followed this sequence the other night, I started thinking about how life sometimes seems like a dark and foggy night. We feel lost in the fog trying to figure out what direction life is going next.  And we want to turn on the brights, doing what we can in our own power to get through the situation faster, but all that does is create