Prayer

"Giving your heart time to pray is like allowing the sun to shine on wintering seeds."

~ Mark Yaconelli, Wonder, Fear, and Longing: A Book of Prayer

Sometimes we get caught up in one idea of prayer. But those moments that have been the most powerful connection moments for me have simply been when I have allowed (or forced) myself to stop and focused on God. When I talk about moments I have 2 that come to mind almost immediately, and interestingly they happened at the same place, a couple of years apart. In this case I want to focus on the first moment in that space that really speaks to me...

It happened the first summer I worked at Camp Wanake. I wasn't really sure what I had gotten myself into. I didn't know anyone else that was there that summer. I had only been a camper at Wanake one summer and that was when I was 12 years old. I wasn't really thrilled about the idea of spending time without flushing toilets, electricity, etc. I honestly had no clue what had prompted me to think working at camp was a good idea. I got to the end of staff training, and was feeling a little more confident. My thought was this, "OK God I think I can do this, just start me out slowly. Start me in a program with electricity and running water, and we can ease into the other stuff." I have never been the one to just jump in the deep end - I like to get my feet wet first and ease into it. But God had other plans. My first week I was assigned to Woods - which meant platform tents, porta-pottys, no electricity at all. Right after we found out our assignments for that first week, we had worship to close staff training. We were at Vesper Hill, one of the outdoor chapels at Wanake, and I sat there just thinking and praying about what I had gotten myself into. As we were there, the leadership team had decided to have a time of just singing praise songs for as long as people wanted, so I am sitting there thinking and praying about what I have gotten myself into while I am singing, and the song I remember is "Amazing Love/You are my King." And we got to the line in the song where it says, "In all I do, I honor you," and I remember having an AHA! moment where I realized that it wasn't about being in my comfort zone, or about easing myself into this thing I wasn't sure about. It was about honoring God in the midst of not being sure. Whatever I had to do that summer, I knew I could do it, because it wasn't about me.

Interestingly as I write that story now, I see how that began my desire to challenge myself. Now I honestly believe that we cannot grow and change as people unless we challenge ourselves to do things that we are not sure that we can. God helps us grow when we are challenged.

I first sat down to write this journal entry thinking I might use the serenity prayer as my inspiriation, and it ends up that to some extent it is about the same thing. Because in order to "change the things I can" I need to step outside my comfort zone. I need to spend time with God to see where he is calling me, I need to honor God in all I do, and I need to begin walking and trusting God that it's not about me and "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6