Just be.
First, let me start by saying that Brene Brown's new book, Braving the Wilderness, should be required reading for everyone these days. It speaks so much to our current societal reality. It is important, if only we can hear it. Ok, moving on...
We as people are designed to see patterns in things. Sometimes we see patterns that don't exist and other times patterns help us understand that which is happening around us. And there are the times that we refuse to acknowledge the connections between the patterns we see, but that is a post for another time. I have been told that my brain makes connections that other people don't see. I find it to be a true gift as someone who teaches and leads others. And over the last week I have been thinking about presence.
There are three places these thoughts have come up. First, was from the aforementioned book, Braving the Wilderness. In Chapter 4, titled "People are Hard to Hate Close Up: Move In," Brene Brown writes the following:
"If we zoom out and take a wide-angle shot of our world that's increasingly defined twenty-four-hour news, politics, and social media, we see a whole lot of hatred... But when we zoom in on our own life, the picture changes from a distant, raging, and atrophying heart to the beating pulse of every day existence. We feel love and we know pain. We feel hope and we know struggle. We see beauty and we survive trauma... As the large world engages in what feels like a complete collapse of moral judgement and productive communication, the women and men I interviewed who had the strongest sense of true belonging stayed zoomed in. They didn't ignore what was happening in the world, nor did they stop advocating for their beliefs. They did, however, commit to assessing their lives and forming their opinions of people based on their actual in-person experiences."
Zooming in when there is so much distracting us is not easy. It takes intention and focus as we drown out the noise around us. It takes practice - and we will fail. Things will happen that will take us away from the present moment. And the truth is that sometimes it is important to zoom out long enough to see a bigger picture - to see the patterns we might miss if we only focus on our little section of the world, to remember that there is more to this world than just us. But we also must zoom back in and focus on the world around us, and the ways we can impact it for the good.
The second place that I was challenged to think about presence was at the Women's Wellness Conference held at church this weekend. The keynote speaker was Dr. Bernadette Melnyk, the Dean of the Nursing College at The Ohio State University. There were many words of wisdom in Dr. Melnyk's talk, but one that stuck out to me and has value for this topic is this: "The two most wasted emotions are worry about the future and guilt over the past." The truth is that we cannot change the past - it is done. We can certainly learn from it, and I am in no way advocating that we forget the past., but feeling guilt over what has happened doesn't change things then or now. When we remove the guilt, we can learn more objectively and make necessary changes so that we do not repeat the past. Worry over the future is similar. We don't change anything by worrying - we simply cause ourselves unnecessary stress and take joy away from the present. And again, when we step away from worry, we can plan and work more effectively for the future we would like to see.
Finally, the third place this came up in my recent comings and goings was the Blessing of the Animals service held last night at church. Aaron Moore, the Director of Young Adult Ministries, gave a message that was in part about what we can learn from our animals because they embody what is to be present in the moment. I don't have any pets myself, but I have had roommates with pets in the past and I think about Sully (cat), as he contently pets himself with the hand that you place nearby. I think of Tinkerbell (dog) who would come running with enthusiasm whenever she heard me open the string cheese because she knew that was one food I would share with her. Sure, this is not true of all animals. There is also my childhood dog, Corky, who seemingly had a lot of worry anytime a car started or he thought one might. But in general, pets know how to be in the moment.
And so, as I sit here on my balcony in the sunshine of this gorgeous fall day, I seek to learn these lessons. I seek to stay informed about the world around me, but also to zoom in on the life that I am living and the difference I can make right here. I seek to let go of guilt over past decisions and worry over future outcomes as I focus on how the choices I make now can reflect learning from the past and work toward a better future. And I seek to take time to simply be, because the truth is, that refreshes my body, mind, and soul in a way that nothing else can.
We as people are designed to see patterns in things. Sometimes we see patterns that don't exist and other times patterns help us understand that which is happening around us. And there are the times that we refuse to acknowledge the connections between the patterns we see, but that is a post for another time. I have been told that my brain makes connections that other people don't see. I find it to be a true gift as someone who teaches and leads others. And over the last week I have been thinking about presence.
There are three places these thoughts have come up. First, was from the aforementioned book, Braving the Wilderness. In Chapter 4, titled "People are Hard to Hate Close Up: Move In," Brene Brown writes the following:
"If we zoom out and take a wide-angle shot of our world that's increasingly defined twenty-four-hour news, politics, and social media, we see a whole lot of hatred... But when we zoom in on our own life, the picture changes from a distant, raging, and atrophying heart to the beating pulse of every day existence. We feel love and we know pain. We feel hope and we know struggle. We see beauty and we survive trauma... As the large world engages in what feels like a complete collapse of moral judgement and productive communication, the women and men I interviewed who had the strongest sense of true belonging stayed zoomed in. They didn't ignore what was happening in the world, nor did they stop advocating for their beliefs. They did, however, commit to assessing their lives and forming their opinions of people based on their actual in-person experiences."
Zooming in when there is so much distracting us is not easy. It takes intention and focus as we drown out the noise around us. It takes practice - and we will fail. Things will happen that will take us away from the present moment. And the truth is that sometimes it is important to zoom out long enough to see a bigger picture - to see the patterns we might miss if we only focus on our little section of the world, to remember that there is more to this world than just us. But we also must zoom back in and focus on the world around us, and the ways we can impact it for the good.
The second place that I was challenged to think about presence was at the Women's Wellness Conference held at church this weekend. The keynote speaker was Dr. Bernadette Melnyk, the Dean of the Nursing College at The Ohio State University. There were many words of wisdom in Dr. Melnyk's talk, but one that stuck out to me and has value for this topic is this: "The two most wasted emotions are worry about the future and guilt over the past." The truth is that we cannot change the past - it is done. We can certainly learn from it, and I am in no way advocating that we forget the past., but feeling guilt over what has happened doesn't change things then or now. When we remove the guilt, we can learn more objectively and make necessary changes so that we do not repeat the past. Worry over the future is similar. We don't change anything by worrying - we simply cause ourselves unnecessary stress and take joy away from the present. And again, when we step away from worry, we can plan and work more effectively for the future we would like to see.
Finally, the third place this came up in my recent comings and goings was the Blessing of the Animals service held last night at church. Aaron Moore, the Director of Young Adult Ministries, gave a message that was in part about what we can learn from our animals because they embody what is to be present in the moment. I don't have any pets myself, but I have had roommates with pets in the past and I think about Sully (cat), as he contently pets himself with the hand that you place nearby. I think of Tinkerbell (dog) who would come running with enthusiasm whenever she heard me open the string cheese because she knew that was one food I would share with her. Sure, this is not true of all animals. There is also my childhood dog, Corky, who seemingly had a lot of worry anytime a car started or he thought one might. But in general, pets know how to be in the moment.
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| From vacation last summer in Maine - a time that I was able to just be. |
And so, as I sit here on my balcony in the sunshine of this gorgeous fall day, I seek to learn these lessons. I seek to stay informed about the world around me, but also to zoom in on the life that I am living and the difference I can make right here. I seek to let go of guilt over past decisions and worry over future outcomes as I focus on how the choices I make now can reflect learning from the past and work toward a better future. And I seek to take time to simply be, because the truth is, that refreshes my body, mind, and soul in a way that nothing else can.
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