Where I stand
I am not a boat rocker. I am the classic middle child - the peacemaker, the people pleaser, the one who wants everyone to like me. But I still have opinions (of course) and lately they have been harder and harder to keep to myself. There are many reasons that I try to do so - I don't think arguing with strangers (or friends) on the internet is helpful. I want to be someone who adds value to the conversation rather than taking it away and if I feel like what I am going to say will lead to greater division, then it's generally not worth it. I also work for a church and acknowledge that my professional life and personal life are inseparable.
And yet lately it's harder and harder to keep quiet. I have said for years that the thing that scares me most about our culture is the "I'm right and you're stupid" mentality that has overtaken so much of society. We don't seek to have conversation. I used to be proud that my friend list was representative of both sides in many ways. And for the most part, I still am, but it's getting harder and harder to stomach the vitriol and negativity. Not that all of my friends are - in fact, I feel that many of my friends do a good job of sharing their opinions in ways that are respectful. But read the comments on any article - even some that I can't possibly figure out a way to go negative on - and the comments quickly turn hateful, angry, and downright mean.
And so I stay silent. Because I don't want to add fuel to the fire. But there comes a time when it is necessary to speak. When it becomes necessary to make clear where I stand. So here it is.
I stand on the side of love. Love for those society deems less than. Love for those who scared right now that their rights might be in jeopardy. Love for those who lack the power to have a voice. Love for those who lack the money it takes to gain power. And I commit to use my voice, my time, and my resources to live this love.
I stand on the side of grace. Amazing grace that is available to us all. Grace that reminds us that there is no "good enough" because we are all given grace freely. Grace that has been given to me in abundance and that I am called to give to others. And I will try to live this grace by having patience with those with whom I disagree. Because no matter how strongly I disagree with you, I believe you are a human being with value.
I stand on the side of humility. I appreciate so much those who know they don't know it all and whether I agree with you or not, I will support your right to share your opinion in this way. I support those who are willing to learn and to grow, and those who can share an opinion without putting down the opinions of others.
I stand on the side of facts. Can we stop pretending that something is true because someone I agree with says it is? Just because I believe something does not make it true. If that worked, then chocolate would be healthy. Research. Educate yourself. And realize who you are listening to. Yes news sources have bias. It's impossible not to have some bias, but seek multiple sources with different bias, and listen with an mind bent towards learning.
I stand on the side of respect. I believe we are all in this together whether we like it or not, and I call upon all of us to see the humanity of the other, whoever that may be. Recently in youth group we were having a conversation about bringing the good news to the poor and we were challenged to move from "the poor" to John. Sally. Beth. Learn names. Learn stories. Respect the humanity of the other.
I stand against fear. Fear that tries to tell me who is to blame for the problems of this world, especially when that finger is pointed at those with no power. Fear that tries to tell me there's no way forward. Fear that tries to keep me from loving, from giving grace, and from respectfully disagreeing with those around me. Fear that keeps me from engaging with those who are different from me. I acknowledge that other than politics and age, my circle is not very diverse, so this year I seek to change that.
I stand against the childish arguments of whatever "they" did and waiting for "them" to go first. What's done is done. We can't change that. But we can change the future - and the part of it we have control over is ourselves. So I take responsibility for myself. I take responsibility for all those times that I have let my peacemaker self stay quiet when I should have spoken up. I take responsibility for the times when I made assumptions and didn't listen to where someone is coming from. I take responsibility for giving more credence to those opinions and I already agreeing with and quickly dismissing those with whom I disagree. And I choose to more forward in a different way.
And I stand against hate and violence. Whichever side it comes from. It adds nothing of value to the conversation and quite frankly works against its very intention.
At camp we used to use this analogy of a camper theoretically throwing a rope to the ground begging us to play tug of war for power. One of my favorite stories to give an example about this was a camper that I had who was probably going into 4th grade. She was at camp with her older sister, and they were both in my group. This girl liked to push buttons. All week long she tried to throw that rope - to the point where it became almost a game for me to get around the rope. One night, she and her sister got into an argument so she sat on the laundry bag and refused to get up and allow her sister to put her dirty clothes in the bag. So I went over to her and instead of yelling at her to get up (and picking up the rope), I simply said, "That's fine, you can sit there. But in 10 minutes, I'm turning the lights off and taking your flashlight so you'll be getting ready for bed in the dark." And then I walked away. Moments later, she got up and got ready for bed.
It's time to change the conversation. It's time to drop our ropes, to stop playing tug of war for power, to remember that we are all people with inherent worth. It's time to stop placing blame. It's time to stop looking out only for ourselves.
It's time. Will you join me?
And yet lately it's harder and harder to keep quiet. I have said for years that the thing that scares me most about our culture is the "I'm right and you're stupid" mentality that has overtaken so much of society. We don't seek to have conversation. I used to be proud that my friend list was representative of both sides in many ways. And for the most part, I still am, but it's getting harder and harder to stomach the vitriol and negativity. Not that all of my friends are - in fact, I feel that many of my friends do a good job of sharing their opinions in ways that are respectful. But read the comments on any article - even some that I can't possibly figure out a way to go negative on - and the comments quickly turn hateful, angry, and downright mean.
And so I stay silent. Because I don't want to add fuel to the fire. But there comes a time when it is necessary to speak. When it becomes necessary to make clear where I stand. So here it is.
I stand on the side of love. Love for those society deems less than. Love for those who scared right now that their rights might be in jeopardy. Love for those who lack the power to have a voice. Love for those who lack the money it takes to gain power. And I commit to use my voice, my time, and my resources to live this love.
I stand on the side of grace. Amazing grace that is available to us all. Grace that reminds us that there is no "good enough" because we are all given grace freely. Grace that has been given to me in abundance and that I am called to give to others. And I will try to live this grace by having patience with those with whom I disagree. Because no matter how strongly I disagree with you, I believe you are a human being with value.
I stand on the side of humility. I appreciate so much those who know they don't know it all and whether I agree with you or not, I will support your right to share your opinion in this way. I support those who are willing to learn and to grow, and those who can share an opinion without putting down the opinions of others.
I stand on the side of facts. Can we stop pretending that something is true because someone I agree with says it is? Just because I believe something does not make it true. If that worked, then chocolate would be healthy. Research. Educate yourself. And realize who you are listening to. Yes news sources have bias. It's impossible not to have some bias, but seek multiple sources with different bias, and listen with an mind bent towards learning.
I stand on the side of respect. I believe we are all in this together whether we like it or not, and I call upon all of us to see the humanity of the other, whoever that may be. Recently in youth group we were having a conversation about bringing the good news to the poor and we were challenged to move from "the poor" to John. Sally. Beth. Learn names. Learn stories. Respect the humanity of the other.
I stand against fear. Fear that tries to tell me who is to blame for the problems of this world, especially when that finger is pointed at those with no power. Fear that tries to tell me there's no way forward. Fear that tries to keep me from loving, from giving grace, and from respectfully disagreeing with those around me. Fear that keeps me from engaging with those who are different from me. I acknowledge that other than politics and age, my circle is not very diverse, so this year I seek to change that.
I stand against the childish arguments of whatever "they" did and waiting for "them" to go first. What's done is done. We can't change that. But we can change the future - and the part of it we have control over is ourselves. So I take responsibility for myself. I take responsibility for all those times that I have let my peacemaker self stay quiet when I should have spoken up. I take responsibility for the times when I made assumptions and didn't listen to where someone is coming from. I take responsibility for giving more credence to those opinions and I already agreeing with and quickly dismissing those with whom I disagree. And I choose to more forward in a different way.
And I stand against hate and violence. Whichever side it comes from. It adds nothing of value to the conversation and quite frankly works against its very intention.
At camp we used to use this analogy of a camper theoretically throwing a rope to the ground begging us to play tug of war for power. One of my favorite stories to give an example about this was a camper that I had who was probably going into 4th grade. She was at camp with her older sister, and they were both in my group. This girl liked to push buttons. All week long she tried to throw that rope - to the point where it became almost a game for me to get around the rope. One night, she and her sister got into an argument so she sat on the laundry bag and refused to get up and allow her sister to put her dirty clothes in the bag. So I went over to her and instead of yelling at her to get up (and picking up the rope), I simply said, "That's fine, you can sit there. But in 10 minutes, I'm turning the lights off and taking your flashlight so you'll be getting ready for bed in the dark." And then I walked away. Moments later, she got up and got ready for bed.
It's time to change the conversation. It's time to drop our ropes, to stop playing tug of war for power, to remember that we are all people with inherent worth. It's time to stop placing blame. It's time to stop looking out only for ourselves.
It's time. Will you join me?
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