sermon reflection

So yesterday's sermon was about the difference between expectancy and expectation. The basic point was that an attitude of expectancy is believing that God is at work, and good things are to come, whereas expectation is more like a sense of entitlement as to what we deserve.

As my pastor was talking about this, I realized that I had expectations. I set expectations about what my life should be like, and I feel upset, disappointed, even a little angry that my expectations aren't being met. And while I still think my feelings are legitimate, I also realize that I can't tell God how my life should go. But I need to move from having expectations about what should have happened, or what should be having, to having a sense of expectancy that God will do great things in my life if I allow it.

So there is my goal. It's really what I started working on this weekend, though not in so many words, while on retreat. But it is still what I am working on. This weekend was good for that, but it's much harder as I am thrown back into the continual stress that is my life at this point.

Ironically, as I was writing this I flipped to my facebook page, and one of my friends status updates said this, "a coworker i don't know well just told me...your life sucks as much as you allow it to (in so many words ;) ) and he's right!!! about time to be done with this broken heart business..."

I need to believe this. I need to know that I can change things. I need to remember that many of the situations in my life are the results of choices I have made, and that making different choices will get me somewhere else. So here's to choices... and moving forward!